You can spot them easily in the movies — the couple that’s so clearly meant for each other. But in real life, it can be harder to detect a perfect match.
That’s especially true when that “match” involves ourselves. Sometimes we’re so wrapped up in our relationships that we don’t even ask ourselves if we’re actually a good fit.
INSIDER talked to Talia Goldstein, CEO of white glove matchmaking service Three Day Rule , and Susan Winter , an NYC-based relationship expert, to find out the major signs that a couple is a good match.
If a relationship demonstrates each of these attributes, that’s how you know it’s built to last.
1. You travel the same way
Finding someone who agrees with how and where you want to travel makes all the difference.One of the easiest ways to tell if you’re a good match with your partner is to plan a trip together.
“A good match is people who are willing and wanting to travel the same way,” Goldstein said.
If one of you wants to hop in a RV and road trip to Mexico, while the other wants to fly first class and stay at a five star resort, that’s a sign that you aren’t a good fit.
“It’s indicative of your lifestyle,” Goldstein said. “It could lead to problems down the road.”
For example, these lifestyle difference could come into play when it’s time to buy a house or pick an education path for your children, the expert explained.
“If you have a really narrow mind about the way that you travel, you probably have that same mindset in other aspects of your life,” she added.
2. Your personalities release tension, rather than causing it.
It’s important for passion to be present in a relationship, but it’s not the only thing that matters. In fact, in most relationships, Winter says it’s better to know how to calm your partner down — and for them to know how to do the same to you — than to rile each other up.
“Rather than ignite each other’s anger, your dispositions diffuse each other’s reactivity,” Winter told INSIDER. “This is of supreme importance in long-standing relationships.”
This might not always be sexy, but it does offer a good sense of support, which is vital for long-term relationships .
3. You have common interests that you love doing together.
It may seem intuitive, but a great way to tell if you are a good match with a person is to determine whether you have common interests.
That doesn’t mean that you just like the same sort of art or listen to the same sort of music. Instead, good matches not only enjoy similar things — they like doing those things together.
“There should be at least two or three things you really like to do together,” Goldstein said. “It should be about spending time together.”
And so, if you’re a couple who, for instance, enjoys going on long walks together, playing board games together or watching the same sport games together, you’re likely a good match.
4. The relationship doesn’t feel like hard labor.
All relationships require work. But there’s a difference between toiling away at something for what feels like a paltry reward and working towards something that makes you happy.