Should the sloppy, ridiculous things people say while they’re drunk or high be taken seriously, or should they just be brushed off as a side effect of a substance? That’s a question I’ve been asking myself in the months since I watched my friend and her girlfriend go through a very public, very popcorn-worthy breakup during a night of drug and tequila-fueled debauchery.
When you break up with someone while you’re high, actually count? Should the sloppy, ridiculous things people say while they’re drunk or high be taken seriously, or should they just be brushed off as a side effect of a substance?
Susan Winter, a relationship expert and author of the best-selling book Breakup Triage; The Cure for Heartache, agrees. “It’s been said that being drunk is like a truth serum,” she says. “If you broke up with someone while drunk or high, there’s logic lurking beneath the surface of what appears as sloppy irrationality. You may have been repressing your true feelings in daily life, and now the discontent has found its way to expression.”
In other words, drugs and alcohol provide the lubrication to propel your thoughts down the Slip ‘N Slide of life (and the audacity to write bullshit like that… I had vodka earlier). In both their opinions, a drunken breakup should be taken as a real breakup, and substances shouldn’t be used as an excuse for shitty behavior.
“IT DOESN’T COUNT”
“Reviewing your actions the day after a drunk [or high] breakup is essential protocol,” says Winter. “But before you approach your mate to talk, it’s important to tie together all the events you can remember. Ask yourself the following questions: Were you out of line? In a black out? Were you being provoked by others, or swayed by external factors? Do you really want to break up? As a good rule of thumb, it’s best to remember what happened, then assess how you feel. This allows you to either reach out for closure, or to make amends if you said something you didn’t mean.”