Every relationship has its baggage. Every human being has their own set of challenges. And when two people come together, that baggage creates issues. To imagine there is a “perfect” person without baggage, is to hope for the impossible. It’s not possible for us, and it’s not possible for them. Accepting baggage, as routine, is a step forward in rational thinking. There is only question we need to ourselves when bringing someone new into our lives; “Are these the types of issues I want to handle?”
Meeting a romantic prospect, is similar to buying a “blind item.” At first glance, everything looks great. We are able to estimate a certain level of value. There is interest and appeal. But, in the initial meetings, far too much information is missing to form an accurate assessment of what lies beneath the surface. People tend to be on their best behavior when dating. They present the person they think you want to see. Only time, and on-going interaction will reveal the complete picture.
I have determined certain things I can/will handle, and other things I cannot/will not handle. Physical security and mental sanity are not things I will compromise for anyone. Yet, the specifics of how that presents itself, is quite individualized. We all have our “I don’t want” lists. I know mine. But the funny thing about life, is that there are so many variations in baggage. For me, an active alcoholic is an obvious “no.” But, what about the amazing man from Spain, with Visa/Immigration issues? I have a girlfriend who loves to date guys in their mid-fifties. Ex-wives and kids would be an issue for me. Yet to her, it’s just routine baggage.
Thankfully, we all have different preferences. A guy can be great for me, and have baggage I can handle. Yet, for someone else, he would be completely wrong. Baggage comes in all shapes and sizes. It’s as varied as its owner. The only important question to determine regarding weight vs. worth, is in knowing what you can, and cannot, handle.