I recently began seeing a much younger man. He is 23. He is also well bred, well educated, ambitious, intelligent, handsome and gentlemanly. Withstanding the protestations of some of my more traditional and conservative friends, I feel I am justified in my choice. One must not be an ageist, or be found guilty of discrimination against the very young. They too, have their merits beyond the obvious.
What tangible arguments can I offer to the women who habitually order the Blue Plate Special and relish the security of Medicare? Rather than sit alone beautifully coiffed and groomed at a tony bar seeking the attention of a 50 or 60 year old man, (who thinks he’s “got it going on,” and you are oh-so-lucky if he buys you a drink), let me propose a new and novel treat. Consider going for the 23 year old you never noticed and thought was far beneath you. He may just surprise you with knowledge, dimension and sensitivity. He may just be the guy to rock your world and treat you like the lady you know you are. He’s far brighter and more interesting than society credits him for being and is far more evolved than you can imagine. In praise of all men aged 23, I ask you consider these facts I know to be true:
1. He can drive at night.
2. He can read fine print without reading glasses (so you don’t need to scramble for yours).
3. He’s proficient with an iPhone and will happily assist you with apps you never knew you had.
4. He knows what just happened with your computer and how to fix it.
5. He sleeps like a dead man throughout the night; regardless of your snoring, thrashing or perimenopausal night sweats.
6. He wakes up with a smile on his face because he doesn’t yet know what you know about life.
7. He’s instantly ready for lovemaking regardless of time, place, lack of sleep or how you look.
8. He’s financially equal to men 30 years older, who are also living in a small apartment having lost their money through divorce.