The ultimate form of seduction may be different than what you’d imagine.
Unlike the long-held ideology that allure is created by push/pull tactics, games and distancing— the key to all attraction, is warmth.
When you think of the most charming and engaging people you’ve ever met, they were undoubtedly warm. Warmth is the quality that opens the hardest of hearts. It allows an ease of inner guard defense. It allows those in its presence to feel safe, “to feel.” This is not the false warmth of a forced smile or cultivated “happy” disposition, but genuine warmth flowing outward to all it meets.
Here’s a mental exercise to prove my point:
- Think of two people who make you feel good.
- Before reading any further, imagine these two people now. See them clearly in your mind, and tune into what you feel when in their presence. Once you can see them and feel them, read on.
They possess the ability to make you feel good about yourself, right? These two people see you in your highest light. They make you feel safe, accepted and wonderful. In their presence, you shine. Underlying your good feeling is their genuine warmth. This is the ultimate allure. Not only general warmth, which is compelling to all— but specific warmth, intended for you.
When we’re romantically attracted to someone, there’s a tendency to pull back. I’ve known many individuals who suddenly become shy around people for whom they feel attraction. It’s a guard mechanism activated by the ego. We don’t want to reveal our excitement. We imagine that in showing our interest, we’ll be vulnerable. What if they don’t want or accept this interest?
Here’s the twist on that thinking. Showing general interest in another (when it is without sexual tension and focus) is universally attractive. There is a non-threatening quality in being open and warm. Lacking a specific sexual vibration, it is met with comfort. It’s neutral. It doesn’t force an immediate decision regarding romantic involvement.
Social settings such as a bar or club often garner uninvited sexual advances. The one who engages imagines this is the proper manner of expressing their desires. It fails in almost all cases, due to pressure. In a brief moment a significant decision must be made— yes, or no. It’s threatening when unwanted.
Even if you might be interested in this person, the nature of their specifically focused energy is forcefully uncomfortable. It’s too strong and direct, leaving no time for proper assessment. It is a recipe for rejection.
Compare that type of energy with general, neutral warmth. Imagine a person approaching you in the same type of setting, yet they’re warm and engaging. You feel relaxed. Nothing is demanded; therefore you’re not put on the spot.
You’re more inclined to speak to this person. You may begin to like their vibe and want to continue spending time with them. This is what the charm of warmth creates. In its ease, it allows any form of natural interest to ignite and expand.
To show our warmth and to show our approval of another is extremely powerful. It’s from this position that we have the greatest chance of creating interest within another.
In testing this theory we need only think of the most seductive people we know. They have harnessed this spectacular quality and in their midst we feel glorious. Warmth activates a merging, as it pulls us in and toward the center of its radiance. This is seduction at its finest. The allure, charisma, and charm of this type of quality are universally acceptable and inviting.
Seduction doesn’t need to be sexual in nature. The greatest examples of seduction are done emotionally. We think of seduction in terms of enticement, through sexual means. That’s only one form. It’s specific and focused, therefore subject to a higher rate of refusal.
The ultimate form of seduction is ‘general engagement’ of the “other.”
It can be used as a prelude to sexuality. But, because it is non-threatening and open-ended, it simply allows for connection. From that standpoint, you can take it wherever you want with greater success. The door has been opened. How you walk through that door, is your determination.
If there’s someone to whom you are attracted think “warmth” when you next see him or her.
Watch the undeniable power of this quality, when applied. You’ll be amazed at your ability to engage interest and more times than not, engage romantic interest. Warmth is the key to all allure. When used in an honest manner it melts all ego barriers with its magical properties.